Hello lovely readers! I hope you had the most wonderful festive season, whatever it is you chose to celebrate. And I wish you all the best for the approaching new year!
Said new year is the reason for today’s post. I wanted to take some time to reflect over the things I did and didn’t achieve in 2024, as well as go into a little detail about the things I’m hoping for in 2025. Originally this was just going to be a social media post, but as it turns out, I have far too much to say!
So, without further ado..
End of Year Reflection
About halfway through the year, I did a half-yearly reflection post, where I talked about how my five resolutions for 2024 were fairing. In that post, I had already forsaken three of them, so I won’t bother bringing those up again. Instead, we’ll focus on the two that I was actively pursuing:
Weekly Short Stories
I had given myself the task to write one short story every week. Again, last time I talked about this, I explained that initially, this resolution was going incredibly well. I was managing to get a little story done every single week…for about twelve weeks, and then I started weaning off some very invasive anti-anxiety meds which messed with my head and completely snatched away all my productivity..
I ended up taking a little break. In my half-yearly reflection post, my Weekly Short Story count was at fifteen. It is now at sixteen, I managed to get myself writing again in the last few weeks.
So. Sixteen short stories. In a year. You know, when I phrase it like that, it doesn’t sound so bad. And yet the pessimistic, perfectionist in me reminds me “well, it should have been fifty-two.”
But let’s ignore that voice. Sixteen short stories is a lot more than I had at the beginning of the year. So I’m counting that one as a win.
Focus More On Gaming
Now, if I had forsaken reading entirely this year, then I definitely would have managed to play more games. But asking me not to read is like asking the seasons not to change or the sun not to rise. I simply cannot do that.
However! I definitely DID play games this year. I’m currently playing Ace Attorney: Investigations, and as soon as I’m finished, I’ve moving straight onto the sequel (which I’ve never played as it never got a Western release until this year!)
For those interested, here is the list of games I played:
- Stardew Valley (I’m slowly chipping away at this, currently romancing and hoping to wife Leah!)
- Another Code and it’s sequel (I adored this series, highly recommend)
- Tomb Raider 1-3 Remastered (although admittedly I DNF’d because the controls are awful!)
- Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley (y’all know I love Moomins)
- Crash Bandicoot N.Sane Trilogy (a blast from the past!)
- WWE 19 (yeah, I also got back into wrestling this year..)
So, whilst I haven’t played many games, I still count it as a win as I’ve played a lot more than I usually do!
Honourable Mention
Now, I can’t possibly spend some time reflecting on the year without mentioning the concerts I went to. Concerts have become rather special and important to me; life feels a little more beautiful when I’m at one. I’m grateful that I found the courage to do all these long drives, and to go alone, it’s definitely worth it for the memories. There were a lot of seconds this year, as for three of the bands I saw, this was my second time watching them; Dream Theater, Siamés, and Slipknot.
I was able to attend five amazing concerts this year:
Vended, 30th May, Rescue Rooms, Nottingham – These boys are absolutely phenomenal live. A lot of people doff them off as a nepotism band, but they actually have so much talent. Griff has a lot of power and energy on stage, such a pleasure to watch! I also want to mention the fleeting friends I made at this gig. Concerts are usually a solo thing for me; I go by myself and keep to myself. But at Vended, I met a very enthusiastic fellow with green hair, whose wife looked like a fairy (and high af..) They bought me drink and we chatted. I also talked with a couple who gave me a temporary tattoo! It was a very surreal experience, but I enjoyed every second of it.
Bambie Thug, 5th September, Heaven, London – 2024 introduced me to the incredible Bambie Thug, and seeing them live was just amazing. From the gimpy dancers, to their slowly diminishing outfit, to being absolutely soaked when they shot the audience with water pistols, this gig was definitely a fun one! Also I adored The Darklings, the support act. Campy to the max!
Dream Theater, 20th October, 02 Arena, London – The Dream Theater gig was important for so many reasons. Not only was it the very first show of the tour, but it was also the only UK date. This three hour show celebrated not only forty years of the band, but also of the return of Mike Portnoy, the original drummer and founding member. The energy of the room was immense, and they played so many of my favourite songs. The highlight was definitely when they played their twenty-four minute long epic, Octavarium. It was cosmic!
Siamés, 29th November, Deaf Institute, Manchester – I implore you to listen to Siamés, they are such an underrated and unheard of band (although they did sell out both their UK dates this year!) They have a lot of energy on stage, and they come to say hi to you afterwards! The highlight of this gig was definitely catching a drumstick when the drummer threw them out at the end.
Slipknot, 18th December, Utilita Arena, Birmingham – I mean, at this point I feel like I don’t even need to tell you how amazing Slipknot are. Celebrating twenty-five years since the release of their debut album, the show was intense the whole night through. I will never get over Corey Taylor’s on-stage charisma, I absolutely adore this man!
So. Those are my concerts of 2024. I was going to rank them, but honestly? They’re all number one. (..also I may already have two concerts lined up for 2025..)
What else did I do this year? Let’s see..
- I’m still slowly working on my Moominhouse, so I made a lot of progress this year. I only have a few packages left, and I’m eager for its completion next year!
- I managed to get a few cosplays done. I still consider myself an amateur in this field, so I’m so very grateful when they turn out okay and people enjoy them. This year’s cosplays were: a gothic romance maiden for Valentine’s Day, four of my own original characters as part of a “Showcasing My Queer Characters” collection for Pride Month, four looks based off of Bambie Thug songs, and both a pierrot and Dusk from The Hex Girls for Halloween!
- I started my Weekly Poetry Reading! Each week, with the help of polls, I select one of my daily poems and record myself reading them aloud. I’m still floored by the response these get each week, so for that I’m so grateful (it’s because of the accent, isn’t it? I never liked my voice much but you lot seem to like it!)
- I was published once again! I have a poem featured in Renascentum – Crow Calls VI, published by the delightfully dreadful Quill & Crow Publishing House. This marks the eighth time this amazing publishing house has taken a chance on my words, and for that I’m eternally grateful. If you’d like to support both myself and Quill & Crow, be sure to pick up Renascentum (and so, so many other amazing books too!) at The Crow Shoppe.
- This seems like a weird one to bring up, but at the beginning of the year, I found myself hyperfixating on David Bowie. Bowie is by no means a new interest of mine, I’ve adored him since my teens; his music, his philosophies, his artistic vision, all of it! And yet the hyperfixation allowed me to appreciate him on a much deeper level.
So. Whilst I might not have achieved all of my goals for this year, I still did a lot with my time. Overall, my year was beyond pleasant. I’m grateful for the memories I made.
Alrighty, that about wraps up my reflection for 2024. And now, my goals for 2025:
Goals For 2025
Monthly Writing
I felt that this year’s goal was much too restrictive and ambitious. So for next year, I’m giving myself the vague goal of “finish at least one thing once a month”. Be that a short story, a longer poem, or maybe even some plans and progress for one of my larger projects.
A month is a long time to get something finished. With my weekly short stories, there was no editing or fine tuning being done, so this also gives me more time for that!
Broaden My Fashion Horizons (and get better at make-up)
And no, this has nothing to do with that delightful person who called me “a man in a dress”. Truth be told, I’ve wanted to further explore my femininity…probably since turning 30. I’ve always struggled with self-esteem, ever since I was a really young girl, and for the majority of my life, I just accepted that I wasn’t particularly nice to look at. And I was fine with that.
I’ve been a tomboy since my teens. I’ve never been one for make-up (except for when I was in my emo phase, and I did the heavy eyeliner), and I think I look stupid in dresses and skirts. So skinny jeans, band-tees, and flannel shirts have been my go-to fashion for a long while now. I like to think they suit me, or that I at least look comfortable in them.
However, sometime in my late 20’s, I found my sense of self-worth, my confidence grew, and finally I realised that, actually, I look alright. Attractive even, although that definitely changes from day to day (occasionally I have what I call “Bad Face Days” where I really don’t like how I look).
And now I’m in my 30s, and now I know my worth, I want to further explore my fashion options. If you watch my Weekly Poetry Readings, you’ll have noticed that I like to dress up a little bit whilst I’m doing them. That definitely sparked something. Whilst I still love being a tomboy, I want to try new things.
And yeah, I’d also like to learn how to do make-up better. The times I’ve tried, I feel like I’m a kid who got in their mother’s make-up set! I don’t plan on wearing it often; I don’t like wearing it, and I believe that we shouldn’t have to wear it, especially in “professional” settings (men aren’t expected to wear make-up, so why should we??) But there have been times when a bit of make-up would have added to a look.
Also, as a PSA, since the incident with the person calling me “a man in a dress”, I’ve had a few people misconstrue me as being trans, so I’d just like to clarify that I’m cis (however, I am a trans ally!) The “we can always tell” crowd never fail to amuse me. News flash, some cis-women also “don’t look that feminine”, whatever that’s supposed to mean!
Continue My Reading/Gaming Balance
I’ve adored being able to find time to play video games this year, so I’m going to continue it into 2025. A few new games have caught my eye, and I’d love to be able to play them when they release. Of course, I’ll still read, because there are also new books coming out that I’ve very excited about (namely Sunrise on The Reaping, another Hunger Games book!)
For now, I’m happy with these three goals. I also want to look for a new job, but I feel like announcing it as a definite goal will put too much pressure on me. I’ll get myself on Indeed/LinkedIn and get my CV sorted, but I’ll keep it in the background for now.
I also want to keep living my life to the fullest I can, with the money and time I have. I’ll continue to go to concerts. I’ll visit new places (I also need to plan another London trip, I must visit the Bowie exhibit at the V&A!) I want to go abroad at some point but I need to get my passport sorted. Also holidays are expensive!
Part of being a goth is embracing that your one go at life is very short. And we can’t always do the things we want to, but we can at least try. I have no idea how long I have left on this earth (I’m hoping I’m good for a few decades yet!) but I want to get to the end with as few regrets as possible. I don’t want to waste this one life.
Gah, apologies. Memento Mori, and all that!
Anyway, I believe I’ve exhausted all I wanted to say on this matter. I’m thankful for the things I achieved and experienced this year, and I’m looking forwards to what 2025 brings. I hope you’ll still be here to take the journey with me.
I’ll see you next year.
Soph, signing off!
Sophie Brookes 